Monday, February 13, 2023

Aai

Written by Shivani Jadhav, Creative Empowerment Batch 3

 “हॅलो शिवानी! माझा प्लीझ एक काम करशील? यांचा बरोबर मी धनादेश पाठवले आहे, ते बँकेत जमा  करशील?” (Hello Shivani! Can you do me a favour? I have sent a cheque with Sir, can you please deposit it in the bank?) Confused, I called Vinaya to ask what exactly am I supposed to do. dhanadesh is cheque in pure Marathi clarified Vinaya after mocking me for not knowing! Aai’s commendable fluency in Marathi can be credited to her working at Dnyan Prabodhini in the Santrika department. It is the conversation I remember I had with Aai back in around 2015-16 when I started interning at Vinaya’s father’s law office in Pune. What began as a friendship over shared study notes quickly turned into a special bond. I would frequently visit their home to enjoy lovely meals prepared by Aai and Vinaya.


Aai came to Pune after her marriage from Kopargaon in Maharashtra. She started working at Dnyan Prabodhini shortly after Vinaya was born. Vinaya’s aunt wanted to apply for a position but couldn’t draft an application so Aai wrote it for her. While applying she thought of giving it a try herself and got selected! Even though she started working coincidentally, in retrospect she attributes her personality development and self confidence to this educational institution. Not only did the job give her financial independence but also developed her understanding of the society and a positive perspective to life. This she says is the reason why she has been working there for 27 years. She says previously she struggled to talk but over the years she developed the confidence to hold a conversation with people from all walks of life. When I asked her about what is the one thing or choice in her past that she would want to change, she said she always postponed her wishes to spend on herself for clothes and travelling as life struggles and other’s needs took priority. Given a chance she would definitely pamper herself more and travel a lot. However, she says she has now learned to embrace the moment and enjoy it to the fullest. Through an institution where she works which is socially conscious, she wishes to continue contributing in her small ways to the society and country.. 


From just being my friend’s mother and Sir’s wife, I have developed immense admiration towards Aai over the past years. Her sincerity to work, her soft heart, caring words, love for eating and cooking for others; and most importantly her resilience is what I adore. 


Aai was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and is currently recovering with smiling eyes!


Nishkama Karma

Written by Kruthik P S , Creative Empowerment Batch 3 

  • Karmanye vadhikaraste 
  • Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
  • Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhur 
  • Ma Te Sango Stv Akarmani

 The translation of the above verse “You have every right to work but not expecting the fruits out of it. Let the focus be not on the fruits and never be inactive”, this verse perhaps summarizes the torchbearer of my family and a strong pillar my Amma. 

 Born during the INDO-Pak war era to a Govt. health officer K. S. Gopala Rao and Komala Bai as a 3rd child to the family in Kolar. Family moved from Kolar to Chikmagalur for the next few years followed by a permanent shift to Bangalore.

Schooling days:

  • -       Until 5th grade: Chikmagalur Kote School, Chikmagalur
  • -       5th and 6th grade: Madhuri Primary School, Bangalore
  • -       7th till degree 1st year: Bharatiya Samskruthi Vidyapeeta, Bangalore
  • -       Senior Kannada and English shorthand: Keshava Institute, Bangalore

 Best known about Amma is her professional career which started very early for her as early as when she was 19, still she remembers how Taata(her dad) used to stay at the corridor waiting for her to finish the work and pick her up after the work. Getting a Government job as early as 19 years with others in the family always showed how talented and hardworking she is. Soon things changed when Amma  got married when she was 23 and became a mother at 24.

As a 25 year old which I am currently, I cannot even imagine how she managed to balance the family with a child given the fact that it was majorly a patriarchal society which was existing. She always remembers how hard it was for her during those days, constantly being pressured by the family to be a homemaker yet she did not leave her job. This perhaps is the only reason why we are currently living a happy peaceful life not worried much monetarily.

They say for a sculptor to form its shape it takes a lot of beating and a similar instance happened with her as she had an miscarriage after my elder brother's birth. Between all these as a miracle literally miracle I was born, the toughest were those pregnancy days for her when she had to undergo a lot of pain mentally and underwent a lot of medical treatment. Her eyes often become wet when I ask her to share about those pregnancy days. She never believed that I would be born as a normal child with a lot of prayers and a lot of blessings. The baby was normal, she recalls.

Perhaps the next pebble in her shoe was when we built a house, a huge financial crunch started followed by Dad’s Jaundice. Even though I was witnessing these things, I wasn't even aware of these things as I was barely a 5-7 years old child yet there are some wild memories for me that reminds me of those days. I used to enjoy the pillion seat of my brother’s bicycle which was the only vehicle we had, both my dad and mother never knew how to drive. My brother's bicycle was more or less like family’s blessing. Apart from this there aren't any more raw memories for me. She remembers those days as the toughest phase financially as she almost became the lone beard winner for the family as my dad lost his job for a brief period during that tenure.


 

I know that Amma cooks extremely well and her dishes are perhaps the best. This talent of hers also helped her to gain some extra income that helped us to overcome the financial crunch. She started to sell pickles and instant powders which also became best selling items for a brief period at some condiments and small stores.

The best part about Amma is that she is very possessive about her family. She always does ensure that we as children get the best and she never compromises anything when it comes to her family. She always wants her children to be the best. Amma was always worried that I would not be good at studies and was always tense about that up until graduation. I still remember how she taught me Kannada which perhaps was the toughest for me. Academically also I wasn’t that bright a student as my brother was which made her worrisome. Looking back at my progress today she is definitely proud of how I progressed over the years 

Inching closer to her retirement I only wish her that she gets to travel a lot within India, Europe and many more… I also hope that she makes up for all the small thrills which she gave up on due to the work taking care of our exams etc… and more importantly AANE(aarogya nemmadi;health and peace).

Looking back at her journey embraces me the importance of women in a family more importantly women being independent. We all call it women empowerment these days but I would say it's the women’s will and commitment, she always has lived as an example of commitment, commitment to work, to family. For her life was her family and family was her life. Any small disturbance to family meant a disturbance to her life. She constantly reminds me about the great value system that she has left on me as a person, not doing anything for granted and giving the best at each small work which we do are some small examples. She is a true believer of “Nishkama Karma” which means do deeds without any fruits of reward.


Life Flow

Written by Kalyani  Abhyanakar, Creative Empowerment Batch 3

I interviewed my Dad Prakash Abhyanakar, on 28th January, where I had an extensive conversation with him about his childhood, youth and outlook toward life. My dad was born in Indore, a small town in Madhya Pradesh. He completed his high school in Indore and cherishes it as the best time of his life when he would cycle with his friends to school carefree, get pampered by his mother and have lovely time with the family. The family was often engaged in Satsangs and rituals which got all children to get together and have a nice time with extended relatives. He particularly remembers how all occasions would join to celebrate small victories, further strengthening the bond and remaining tight.  My father emphasizes on the importance of family as a unit. He feels that because of family support, he could climb the ladder. Early twenties, dad shifted to Delhi in search of work and completed his education. He flowed with life and looked for opportunities and kept grabbing them as they came. He just flowed like a river and that made it easy for him to adjust to a new city where survival was not that easy. My mother stood like a pillar for him as he used to travel across the city for work. My dad says that me and my brother added colours to their life and he worked with honesty and integrity to give us the best education and life possible. and his recent move to Pune after spending 30 years in Delhi was again a life-changing event for him. But he still took life as it is. 

 Dad often says it's important to plan life and pray to God unceasingly. Life has been tough on him in various instances but he chose to laugh and thank God for each and everything.  He suffered in silence only to let us laugh in the present. 



Rebel and Achieve

Written by Pancinovia Neelu M, Creative Empowerment Batch 3

Born in 1956 the second half of the 50s, he was the eldest of the four children. By the time 60s were getting over was turning 14 interestingly for whatever reason inexplicable was vaguely thrown into the third standard when he was 5 years old. Starting off as an underaged made him aware of unexpectedly competitive surroundings and made him a wide-eyed, naïve character. Constantly existing in a surrounding where one needs to keep their mind, eyes and ears tuned to be a part utopian world he was put into was his first unintended circumstance he lived which became his trigger to be constantly aware and be sharp of the surrounding.

The treatment by their peers, society and the potential surrounding did not seem up to the mark of egalitarianism, equality for all kinds of the notion he had. Instead of fighting for the problem he kept looking for an explanation that made him go away from listening to people and delving into bits and pieces of paper floating in the wind as part of the garbage where he lived.

Those printed pieces were the spark for the glimpses of what could be beyond the words from the people he had lived with and pushed him further deep into the world of books, magazines, and newspapers and found a home in the libraries. The potential unintended habit was what shaped his mind in a way that explained inequalities and sometimes what he believed to be injustice and kept bringing a resolve in him while growing up.

“I am not going to do anything that has been done to me. And I am going to practice things which I have learnt so it smoothens and eases the minds of many other people who may be in my kind of situation.”

 Looking back to these abstract things made him feel like he was nothing but just a rebel, a non-conformist. Standing by his word and going his way whoever it may be, he lived by stating “I will chart my own course based on my discovery from the writings of whether it is Bankhim Chandra Chaterjee or Balakumaran or Jayakanthan” from the tamil literature.

Proceeding with a craving to learn a little bit of English because he believed it has more to offer and it was also breaking the linguistic barrier that prevailed around him. Luckily he got an opportunity to move out of Tamilnadu into Jawaharlal Nehru university.

Talking about inspiration as a conscious note, it hit him when he was pursuing his BSc Zoology second year while on a trip to collect specimens from the calm waters of Rameswaram which was blocked by the coral reaf. Accompanied by many North Indian peers, he realized how much of a culture barrier was distancing himself from his fellow classmates. The realisation is what created a spell or an impelling wish to live upto a life that one looks up to, to move out of the cocoon that he felt he hid under.

He terms the land of promise as the one that brought him life. The desire to learn English, move out of the state and live a life which is beyond basic was a trigger point for him on his way back from Rameswaram looking at his peers. But due to socio-economic reasons the struggle to find a way to his desires was persistent which made him to drive trucks and run a small condiment shop until he ran into an advertisement by Jawaharlal Nehru University where the university claims to pay for all the tuition expenses of the student.

Walking into the University is when he discovered what kind of a world exists, what levels are there and how there are islands where the egalitarianism, equality, you are to be interacted with based on what you are not what your family is or parents are or society. This was the big turning point in the life of Mr. Vijay which he terms as an inspiration where he plunged into it and took it head on. It also compelled him to learn the language of the world which is English which opened the floodgates of global literature be it relating to the future of societies, or award-winning ideas in science and then the whole existence shifted into the head cerebral.

He started chasing all the ideas and thoughts that have shaped humanity, learning about the story of philosophy, of science, of sociology and like many other people decided to test out the civil services IAS and then decided not to proceed with the field as it was a feeling of power game administration. Moving away from all these career options and he moved into banking where again the situation in banks of the way the bankers treated the customers who are the real bosses was pretty bad and living with the entitlement of selfishness and greed annoyed and brought out the rebel in him and made him think that one day he will change the way banking happens.

He said “when we wish for something intently, I think it comes our way”. By 1993, the banking economy went through a change, structural reforms took place and the banking sector was key and they were bringing about a change in which he was aligned to be a part of setting up the new bank called the ICICI back and then further it paved way for him to be a part of setting up the IndusInd bank.

 All these exposures made him think that why cannot create a new entity at the economic system of the country level International Financial Services Centre which led to why only new things in finance why don’t we do for the economy as a whole which later led to Free trade Warehousing Zone and an export-oriented area called Special Economic Zone. Without too much of a conscious thought going with the flow, it kept taking him to newer and wider and more complex areas which not many fortunately were paying attention to which made them a band of people who were keen on bringing in a change and trying to be the change upto an extent they can which he claimed was an infectious excitement.

He believed that you don’t need the whole country to move with you to bring about the change a bunch of four of five people is good enough to seed those things. Once the seed grows and picks up attention and momentum came in, that is how the special economic zones and private sector ports and public-private partnerships to build airports and seaports and integrated townships and investment regions all such achievements begun. When one gets deep into all such things one can learn every facet, and dimension. It could be legal or planning the land or designing a building or financing the projects it could be managing the people, convincing the government, and finding the customer all that one can't escape. It amplified the opportunities which forced him to dive into and gain opportunities to pick up the pearls from the deep ocean. All such successions gave the minimum recognition across the government and private sectors and policymakers in companies national and international.

A person who sees the need for constant improvement what he sees as sub-optimal, he found construction being done by turning human beings into cattle using muscle power. The whole process of the construction sector disheartened him. He saw an opportunity where it is streamlining, mechanizing, which adds value to people who need built environment and the people who are into building the built environment. Again it was not explicit it was intuitively known and implicit which force impels you. If it was very clearly understood it would not have so much of energy.

Being a new area he went into economic strife and found his way out of it. A person who believes in reaching nowhere but enjoys the pursuit and not in getting it. 

My Wonder Woman

Written by Jessia Saji, Creative Empowerment Batch 3

 I grew up watching how effortlessly she managed everything. I must say, I was a clingy daughter who would need her mother to be around all the time. Even in our old pictures, it feels like I was glued to her. I felt protected being around her like any daughter and it was mainly because I knew no demon would come near me as she will fight them all fearlessly. I always wondered how does she have such aura and power. Then I learnt that she has always been like this since childhood. She used to do all the outdoor chores with Appachan and her brothers. She would wear a lungi and go around with them to feed the cows and would join them for rubber tapping. I always get goosebumps when I think of it. My dad sometimes says that she was a real Elsamma from the movie “Elsamma enna Ankutty” (A character from a Malayalam movie, which translates to “A boy named Elsamma”).

I physically resemble her a lot. I often get comments that I am the photocopy of her. Earlier, I used to refuse and say ‘No I don’t.’ If you ask me why I denied it, I don’t have a clear answer, maybe because I thought it made me less unique. But now, if anyone comes up to me and comment “Hey, you resemble your mother,” I take it whole heartedly and own it because it’s a privilege. She is an assertive woman yet so soft and warm. She lets me believe that a person can be both sensitive and strong. She taught me being gentle does not make you any less of a person.

I have seen her other sides too. Yes, she is quirky and funny and I can proudly say that I have definitely got that side of her. She has a lot of layers. I have seen it all (or may be almost all). She taught me that not everything comes easy and sometimes we need to fight alone to get what we deserve. I remember in our family get-together, whenever an aunty shares a difficult situation, they had to face, someone commenting “If it was Omana Aunty, she would have…...” and I would just sit there and wonder whether I could be half as bold as her. Now, as years go by, I am realizing I’m growing into her. Yes, she is a wonder woman and I call her “Mumma.”

Monday, January 16, 2023

The Ex-Seminarian

Written by Mariya K Joseph, Creative Empowerment Batch 3

“Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans”

 Yes, Life is what makes you happy when you make other plans which are not even planned. I have grown seeing the life of an Ex- Seminarian, saw the growth of a teenager, struggles, ups and downs, breakdowns and finally I saw him building a happy family.

 I always wonder why he chose a career which was not even selective at that time? It was quite different from all his siblings. Who made him choose that, who guided him to take such a risk in his life? Why did he come out of the seminary? Did he love someone? Was he in a relationship?

All the answers were there in his smile. He is something extraordinary, I mean more than what is ordinary for us.

My childhood was colorful because of him. We had a cousin gang of 6 members called “Thommanum Makkalum”. For us he was the Santa who comes once in every three months from the city of dreams “Bengaluru”, why Santa? because he comes with a big suitcase made up of some kind of metal, which has lots of rust just like our trust on him. It was full of his clothes, but he always kept a small packet of “Soan Papdi”, which was the sweetest sweet I have ever had. I have heard several times he was being scolded by Appachan (Grandfather) and Ammachi for being so careless about his life, for coming out of seminary. As I told he was unique, he never answered anyone’s question, instead he proved himself right, he proved his decisions were right.

 One day, everything changed. Our house was repainted, furniture was polished, his small room replaced with a cupboard, a good fluffy mattress, a cool fancy fan, and we lost the possession of his room. My Amma told me that our family is growing and someone new is coming into our life. Soon after few weeks we got new clothes, so many people came to our house, our courtyard became ready to host a wedding reception, then I realized he is getting married, the first and last marriage of that generation which I am going to witness, I was excited, excited to wear the new dress which he got for me. I saw a young short lady coming out of an old white ambassador car which was beautifully decorated with red and white flowers. She was wearing a white shining saree and had a flower bouquet in her hand. The Ex- seminarian, whom I saw in Alb (white long sacred dress priests wear), changed his outfit to a kurta with long sleeves, well groomed. The Ex- seminarian got married. That young lady whom we saw in the white shining saree changed it to a green saree which my Amma was carrying with her in a small basket came to our home. She was accompanied by some strangers, some photographers, later that evening everyone left, but she stayed back in his room. Then our grandmother told us that she is our “Kochamma” from now onwards. “Kochamma” was the new addition to our small family. He started his career, he developed his dreams, the dream which all his family members criticized.



 Now after 16 years, I am talking to that old seminarian, a partially successful businessman, who chose to be a family man, a husband, a father, a good “Appappi'' (Uncle), nothing has changed, maybe the old rusted suitcase replaced with a new bag, but the sweetest sweet never changed. The frequency of Santa’s visit reduced and became once in a year, that was a bit painful. We knew “Thommanum Makkalum” will be a happily ever after, feel good gang which is running successfully even now, because of the Ex-Seminarian’s blessings. As I said, he is Extraordinary, I mean something more than ordinary for us. 

Sunday, June 19, 2022

NIKKI BOBO

Written by URVASHI DHASMANA

Whenever I think about a well-lived life, I immediately think of my grandmother who passed away in October 2020. When the whole world was buried under covid pandemic, there she was peacefully living under the stars in the beautiful valley on the foothills of the Himalayas, Dehradun.

She was one of her kind, so ahead of her time and era, yet wrapped in the cloak of traditions and culture. 


Born in early 1920s, she has witnessed the hardships of British slavery, the call for independence, young independent India and what not. She used to tell me stories all the time but the best ones were the ones where I learnt how my sweet, calm and composed granny unraveled the change from a 15 year girl to a married one in 16, how she handled 6 kids on her own? How was married life when she first saw my grandpa’s face the next day after the wedding? I can’t even imagine that one. 


My grandfather was in the government sector, so she walked by him from place to place keeping that little smile on her face and when he passed away after a few decades, she single-handedly settled her children, got them married and then helped raise her grandkids, but never did she compromise on anything. She roams around the whole country, be it Vaishno Devi in J&K or Rameswaram in Tamil Nadu.

She took her first flight back in 2012 to Nagaland to meet my cousin. She was full of life.


When my mother wanted me to wear a suit for a family function, she was the one who got me a western dress and told me that I’m not that old to wear a suit yet. I still miss our scooty rides to the “chaat wali gali’ for our munching time.  When the whole world was fighting over INDIA-PAKISTAN or HINDU-MUSLIM, she went out of her way to get her brother-in-law married to the love of her life, a south-indian christian.


There are many events that make me relive all the moments I shared with her, and as each day passes by I feel blessed that I am her granddaughter and she will always be my NIKKI BOBO.