A Life Simple, Direct and Straightforward was a life best lived

Article by Bharath Madhusoodan, Christ University, HOSD 2014

For me, or for anyone there will always be an abundance of elderly relatives to choose from. And given their lives, tribulations and experiences, it becomes hard to decide whose life to actually look into close detail for. However at the start of the preparation of this topic, I had already decided to do it on my paternal grand uncle for many reasons. All of them worth explaining.

First off, he shares my first name. Or to put it more appropriately, I share his first name. In fact between him, me and one other uncle of mine, there are enough of our names for each of us to live up to and set benchmarks for. Secondly, he is the oldest on my father’s side, when looking through direct relations and as such has one of the longest and most excitable lives to peer into closely. This point can be connected to the third one I am about to make which is that his life is so interesting, from the places he has lived, the jobs he has taken up to the experiences he has learnt. Fourthly, the rest of my family has an immense amount of respect for him and was readily available with tons of information about him, apart from what I learnt from directly conversing with him. Lastly and most importantly, he always had a little soft spot for me compared to all my other cousins (and do I have a lot of them!!). Maybe it is due to our similarity in names or because of something else that I cannot understand but for that purpose I have done this essay on him.

He was born in Trichur, a district located in central Kerala to a family of 7, 1 brother and 5 sisters. He lost 4 of his sisters during this early period and lost his brother in Singapore where he was never seen again. Despite such odds, he studied till his 7^th grade and then travelled to Madras (current Chennai) at the very young age of 14 to eke out a survival for him and his family. At first he joined a restaurant as a worker, doing odd jobs to earn some income. Eventually, he opened his own restaurant at the age of 18, a huge feat for a man of such young temperament and difficult upbringing.

His restaurant, South Indian in nature as were several at that time, was considered one of the tastiest throughout Madras at that point of time. At the age of 25 he married my grand aunty. It was an arranged marriage, following the long living tradition of endogamy (inter family marriage) according to the South Indian customs. He continued supporting the family, who settled in his hometown, from Chennai through his restaurant. His first child, a son was born when he was 27 years old and who became the eldest for the next generation on my paternal side. Only after 15 years was his second child, a daughter was born. His last child, a daughter was born a mere 2 years later.

He continued his restaurant for 30 years, which grow and flourished from his hard work, dedication and commitment to his livelihood, family and venture. He then came back to his home town, taking up his family business, mainly agriculture, farming and several religious duties of the family temple. Surprisingly, he has still not retired from these duties, organising and delegating farming duties and still profiting due to his entrepreneurship skills and abilities that he learned from his years of running a restaurant. He is the eldest of the family, being the main patriarch and yet is as humble and non-assuming as the youngest member of any family.

For me, I remember him as a very serious and silent man who carried himself with grace and dignity. My respect for him as well as my curiosity for his life was established and enhanced by the manner from which the adults treated him and revered him. He has seen a long marriage that is not only peaceful, cooperative and without troubles but also bubbly, energetic and passionate as young lovers entering into the next level of commitment.

He has seen his children do very well in their respective lives as well. His son and one of his daughters are both living in the United States with his son being a respected and proficient veterinarian with huge amount of years of experience. He is the grandfather of 7 children and even the great grandfather of 3. His life, if viewed through the eyes of the future and their foundation and success, he has achieved happiness and contentment on these grounds. For me, it shows a great life lived and a great legacy left behind.

But in his personal qualities and attributes he is also very talented and gifted. Apart from his business skills and working culture, he can make the best south Indian delicacies in our family and even outside. His dishes, especially his recipe and technique for Laddoo, Mysore Pak, Jalebi, and mixture are to die for. Often my parents and relatives used to tell me about his food, which they would anticipate whenever they visited their home. However, his contributions in this region, were not passed on and given to the next generations. I have planned to learn these recipes as it is an important part of a man’s contribution to cuisine and should not, must not die with him. It should continue, flourish and be transmitted as it is an art form, a part of our family culture and heritage that should be passed on. And I hope to do so soon so I can hone them and add on through experimentation and tweaking.

He is a prime example of a man whose life is content, satisfied and lived with no regrets. Overcoming his loss of his sisters and brother, starting his own restaurant, having a very stable and dynamic relationship for a period of 75 years and counting (they recently celebrated their platinum jubilee for their 75 yearlong period since they came together in holy matrimony), and has seen his seeds grow into independent, successful and content individuals on their own. 

He is a role model to me on these grounds as well as his outlook on money and life. He saw money as a means to achieve a better life for his family and himself. It was not considered essential or all consuming. But instead a necessary tool to get ahead in life. He considered relationships and everyday living as more important. For that I love him and look up to him. He teaches me that the small things matter and that a life simple, direct and straightforward was a life best lived, teaching me values of austerity, humility and simplicity.

He is my granduncle and I feel closer to him than the other elderly relatives on both sides of my family. I see him as influential and instrumental in my life lesson journey and I hope to have as content a life as he did and continue what he taught me to the future.