Written By Amala Siby
An assignment for the Creative Empowerment Course, 2021
This story is a dedication to one of the most important persons in my life, none other than my paternal grandfather whom I call ‘Achayi’. Fondly called as ‘pappachan’ and officially called as V.J Paulose, this man is the 3rd child of Late Joseph Paily and Thressiamma Joseph and the first born. Imagining the scenario of Kerala 85 years back.
Growing
up he got 4 more younger siblings and he remained the support system for all.
Apparently, he was really good in his studies, but his hard luck, he failed in his
matriculation exam (class 10) for one subject by 2 marks which was English.
Though he wanted to study further, due to the pressure of my great grandfather
to support him in agriculture, he had to drop his studies to support the
family. I still see him regretting this decision forever in his life.
He
helped my great grandfather in agriculture, supported all 4 of his siblings
to study and get into decent government jobs, got his sisters married, all on
his own efforts, sacrificing his little joys in life. I have never seen him
complain. He considered all of it as his responsibilities and shouldered them
with happiness.
When
it came to his marriage, like everyone else he also had a typical arranged
marriage and that’s how my grandmother ‘Kuttiyamma’ came into his life. It was
not an easy marriage for them in the beginning as ammachi found it difficult to
fit into this large family where she had to manage the household chores and
agriculture together. I am having very little idea of what happened on the
initial days of their marriage but they managed it later to a smooth marriage
with two kids. This happiness did not last long as ammachi surrendered to
death due to brain tumour soon after their 18th wedding anniversary
leaving two kids and achayi. Again, he was left alone with two kids and a
family to look after. There were multiple requests from his parents and siblings
for a second marriage but he politely refused and decided to not have a
replacement for the love of his life- Kuttiyamma.
Now
that I shall stop the biography writing and would share my little experiences
with him. Like every typical chauvinistic male, Achayi was also not so fond of
having girl children in the family as they incur a lot of expenses and that is
where to his surprise, his eldest son, my pappa had three girl children in a
row which he clearly disliked. But to everyone’s surprise, for some reason
which nobody in the family could understand, he liked me and only me for which once
I asked he gave a reason that I am the only one for which he was the Godfather
during baptism. Though it might feel ridiculous I would like to believe that he
is not as rude as everyone portrays him to be, but that is what he was made to
be like after shouldering the responsibilities of a 10-member family at the age
of 16.
To
this day we share a special bond. The only person who is sad about not having me
in Kerala is him. We used to have this daily routine of bedtime ghost stories
and of course all the general knowledge sessions. He is a bibliophile who makes
sure that he completes at least one book a week from the public library and shares with me the summary. His readings are not only limited to Malayalam literature, but
he has completed almost all the translations available from Greek mythology
books and English literature. A person who never missed any single day’s
newspaper he had a huge role in developing my Malayalam vocabulary, my reading
skills, my speaking skills, and my taste for language, literature, and politics.
I miss him every day before I sleep for his bedtime stories and prayers and I
am sure he misses me too.
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