The Ex-Seminarian

Written by Mariya K Joseph, Creative Empowerment Batch 3

“Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans”

 Yes, Life is what makes you happy when you make other plans which are not even planned. I have grown seeing the life of an Ex- Seminarian, saw the growth of a teenager, struggles, ups and downs, breakdowns and finally I saw him building a happy family.

 I always wonder why he chose a career which was not even selective at that time? It was quite different from all his siblings. Who made him choose that, who guided him to take such a risk in his life? Why did he come out of the seminary? Did he love someone? Was he in a relationship?

All the answers were there in his smile. He is something extraordinary, I mean more than what is ordinary for us.

My childhood was colorful because of him. We had a cousin gang of 6 members called “Thommanum Makkalum”. For us he was the Santa who comes once in every three months from the city of dreams “Bengaluru”, why Santa? because he comes with a big suitcase made up of some kind of metal, which has lots of rust just like our trust on him. It was full of his clothes, but he always kept a small packet of “Soan Papdi”, which was the sweetest sweet I have ever had. I have heard several times he was being scolded by Appachan (Grandfather) and Ammachi for being so careless about his life, for coming out of seminary. As I told he was unique, he never answered anyone’s question, instead he proved himself right, he proved his decisions were right.

 One day, everything changed. Our house was repainted, furniture was polished, his small room replaced with a cupboard, a good fluffy mattress, a cool fancy fan, and we lost the possession of his room. My Amma told me that our family is growing and someone new is coming into our life. Soon after few weeks we got new clothes, so many people came to our house, our courtyard became ready to host a wedding reception, then I realized he is getting married, the first and last marriage of that generation which I am going to witness, I was excited, excited to wear the new dress which he got for me. I saw a young short lady coming out of an old white ambassador car which was beautifully decorated with red and white flowers. She was wearing a white shining saree and had a flower bouquet in her hand. The Ex- seminarian, whom I saw in Alb (white long sacred dress priests wear), changed his outfit to a kurta with long sleeves, well groomed. The Ex- seminarian got married. That young lady whom we saw in the white shining saree changed it to a green saree which my Amma was carrying with her in a small basket came to our home. She was accompanied by some strangers, some photographers, later that evening everyone left, but she stayed back in his room. Then our grandmother told us that she is our “Kochamma” from now onwards. “Kochamma” was the new addition to our small family. He started his career, he developed his dreams, the dream which all his family members criticized.

 Now after 16 years, I am talking to that old seminarian, a partially successful businessman, who chose to be a family man, a husband, a father, a good “Appappi'' (Uncle), nothing has changed, maybe the old rusted suitcase replaced with a new bag, but the sweetest sweet never changed. The frequency of Santa’s visit reduced and became once in a year, that was a bit painful. We knew “Thommanum Makkalum” will be a happily ever after, feel good gang which is running successfully even now, because of the Ex-Seminarian’s blessings. As I said, he is Extraordinary, I mean something more than ordinary for us. 

NIKKI BOBO

Written by URVASHI DHASMANA

Whenever I think about a well-lived life, I immediately think of my grandmother who passed away in October 2020. When the whole world was buried under covid pandemic, there she was peacefully living under the stars in the beautiful valley on the foothills of the Himalayas, Dehradun.

She was one of her kind, so ahead of her time and era, yet wrapped in the cloak of traditions and culture. 

Born in early 1920s, she has witnessed the hardships of British slavery, the call for independence, young independent India and what not. She used to tell me stories all the time but the best ones were the ones where I learnt how my sweet, calm and composed granny unraveled the change from a 15 year girl to a married one in 16, how she handled 6 kids on her own? How was married life when she first saw my grandpa’s face the next day after the wedding? I can’t even imagine that one. 

My grandfather was in the government sector, so she walked by him from place to place keeping that little smile on her face and when he passed away after a few decades, she single-handedly settled her children, got them married and then helped raise her grandkids, but never did she compromise on anything. She roams around the whole country, be it Vaishno Devi in J&K or Rameswaram in Tamil Nadu.

She took her first flight back in 2012 to Nagaland to meet my cousin. She was full of life.

When my mother wanted me to wear a suit for a family function, she was the one who got me a western dress and told me that I’m not that old to wear a suit yet. I still miss our scooty rides to the “chaat wali gali’ for our munching time.  When the whole world was fighting over INDIA-PAKISTAN or HINDU-MUSLIM, she went out of her way to get her brother-in-law married to the love of her life, a south-indian christian.

There are many events that make me relive all the moments I shared with her, and as each day passes by I feel blessed that I am her granddaughter and she will always be my NIKKI BOBO.

BEYOND THE MILITARY BORDER

Written by Ashly Thankachan

“Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance”. The Sixties lead us to a different perspective of life. The interactive session started with an answer to one question “sir do you have anything to say to the younger generation? The reply made us laugh “I am the young Generation”.

A doctor, a professor, 24 years of service in the Armed Forces in Regimental, Research, Staff, Instructional and Command appointments in the Army Medical Corps; Col (Dr) VMP Thomas firmly believes that “good childhood exposure and family background helps a child to become a good citizen. The parents have a great role in their offspring’s character molding and behavioural development. Mr VT Mathew and Mrs Annamma Mathew were part of a liberal family that helped their three children not only to be successful in their careers but to be good human beings.

“Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world”. He was a bright student and active in his academics and extracurricular activities. Basketball, Volleyball, football etc, helped him to get more focus and active in his school and college years. He learned ‘never to give up from his father and ‘have a sense of integrity, perseverance, and sincerity from his mother.

1971 Indo – Pakistani war inspired him to be a part of the big organization “INDIAN ARMED FORCES”. His career started at the Armed Forces Medical College, Pune, which transformed him from a “young boy to a young man”. From 1981 Jalandhar (Punjab), his internship and first posting, to posting across the country in both peace and field formations and the fortune to have worked under the active supervision of Dr APJ Abdul Kalam in DRDO helped him to be a strong and disciplined citizen. He said about this situation as “Challenges make us strong”.

Being an independent, strong man is a big challenging task in everyone’s life. People are afraid of death in old age. When he got to know that the friend who was in the college passed away, he felt that “everybody dies but I believed in immortality”. It’s quite impressive to understand the reality. As he faced difficult health conditions twice in his life, he realized that 'positivity' is very important in our life. He said that one has to think positively even in near-death situations. It surprised me no end as to how a person can think positively during the most difficult situations. On being asked his opinion about suicide which is one of the leading causes of death among young adults he said that “We have only one life, I can’t think how people commit suicide. Life is precious”. The best qualities he maintains in his life are calmness, analyzing situations, and facing situations with optimism.

“In the journey of life, he values the companionship and understanding of his spouse Dr Becky M Thomas. He believes that a happy and supportive family life will help us to be strong and to endure. The motto that he abides by in life is “BE HAPPY, AND BE POSITIVE”

The session has inspired me a lot and it ends up with a funny question “do you treat yourself, doctor”. The reply made a beautiful smile on his face. “If you treat yourself, you have a fool as a patient and knave as a doctor”. I always learned so many things from him like calmness, professionalism, work ethics, etc. I wish him good health and fortunes in his entire life and people will get inspiration from his presence.

The backbone of my life

Written by Alwin Joseph, Creative Empowerment Batch 2 , 2022

This story is about my father, my role model - born in 1964 to a farmer’s family in Kannur, who had migrated from southern Kerala to find suitable land for cultivation and better livelihood.  He is the 3rd son of the family, which focuses on agriculture and small business. Their family consists of his grandfather, grandmother, parents and siblings. Along with the family members, he also began his childhood helping his father in farming and business. Staying as a helping hand for his parents in agriculture and business, he has completed his primary education and took up a technical course in electronics. After completing the course, he started helping his father in agriculture and business. Later, he moved abroad in search of job opportunities after his marriage.

But unfortunately, things did not go as he planned; he had to drop his abroad plans and come back to India. Coming back to India, he started to help his parents and try for other jobs, but finally, he landed entirely in agriculture. The nuclear family concept came into his father’s mind, and he and his brothers all are sent to different places to start a new life.

This was a tough time, as he had to start everything from the start; he was sent to an area that was yet to be developed; the road, medical or travel facilities of that time were not designed as we see now for each need he has to travel kilometres primarily by walk and jeep services. The only person to support him was my mother; together, they started a new life for me as a small child. Starting with a small field of rubber, he expanded agriculture into mixed farming. We have most of the crops to meet his needs and earn a living along with cattle. He has spent his days and nights building up the family and setting up the field for agriculture.

He has a vast story of life to tell me about how he has travelled, his places, and his troubles. He always had big plans for me but never forced me into anything. Being very supportive, he never said the word “NO” to me. Always he tried to find a way to meet my needs. For this reason and to give me the better of all available, he put me into a good school nearby for better education and later in the best colleges. He always motivates me to take up this to help me be a better person. He always has one intention that he always tells me to keep in mind that he never expected me to be in any situation where he suffered, like how he has travelled.

A lot more to tell… a lot more to write… But I want to end this small write up about my backbone with his motivating words… “God sees everything, and he has plans, don’t do anything that is not good and never do anything that will drive God away from me. Be helpful and supportive of all the people who are in need. Never harm anyone” ...!

Prof. Dr. T Devi

Written by Preethi.N

 I count myself lucky that I was mentored by Prof.  Dr. T. Devi , Professor and Head Department of Computer Applications, Bharathiar University, Coimbatore    She is an amazing lady who has inspired me to be a lifelong learner and a fighter. She is an accomplished figure in her chosen field; a taskmaster who would keep me on my toes and pushes me to outdo myself in every task I undertake. She thought us to think outside and box and to be proactive and eager when it comes to learning. To this day I follow the same principles and it has stood me in good stead. She was not just a guide but also someone who would listen to our worries, go out of our way to help us, and constantly coach us even after we graduated. Passion, determination, and humility are the qualities that I most admire about her.

Blessed to be your student forever mam! Thank you for all your support.

"Be Happy"

Written by Samiksha Shukla, Creative Empowerment Batch 2, 2022

Born in Indore, Madhya Pradesh on 23, July'1960, Sudha Shukla, is my first and the best Teacher. A homemaker in the true sense. The caring mother, loving daughter, and responsible daughter-in-law. She completed her education in Ahilya Ashram. She used to be an intelligent child among 5 siblings. Her, Father Late J P Dixit use to take her advice in all major decisions in their home. She married Mr. Ajay Shukla, in 1981. Blessed with three daughters, whom she groomed and guided to be responsible and caring people.

Seeing her taking all the responsibilities following all the moral principles, all of us have grown up into ethically responsible individuals.

A responsible mother who use to be very concerned about her children's education. For that, she was ready to sacrifice many other things like traveling, and functions. I never found a cook better than her in my life. I remember my grandfather used to tell me to learn to cook from her. I have seen my cousins, and uncles enjoying food made by her. That is a perfect match for my father as he is very particular about the food. and he was severed delicious food varieties every day…😋

I have not seen her serving the same food two times a day, Every meal used to be freshly cooked and served with love.

Getting up in the morning and making us ready for school was a major part of her life. A hardcore theist, use to have deep faith in God. After sending us she used to do pooja, very detailed in the Hindu spiritual books.

I have seen a curious reader in her, she reads newspapers in detail. She is always updated about current affairs across the world.

I heard she used to like movies and at a young age, she used to watch the first day the first show. A very good singer, found singing all along with the work she does. She used to be loving not only among her family members but the house helps (maids) who use to come home were very happy and respectful to her.

 Even today when we are at home it is the same, I might compromise in cooking but she never. She is still the same young and beautiful Mom who is so strong and confident. I learned from her to face challenges happily without any fear. What I am today is mainly because of her, as she stood by me to help in every situation of my life and my two sisters.

"Be happy and everything will come in place at Right Time"

She believes, that in life we should be happy with whatever we have, things will come in place at the right time. God is observing us, he is always with us to help in all the ways we take. Sometimes it may take longer to get what you want but you will get it if you have the true desire and capability to handle it.

I am blessed to have her as my Mother.

 

Maama

 Written by Praveenkumar Vaidya 

Creative Empowerment Batch 2 , 2022

Mama…As I remember…

It is imperative that we are all influenced by our parents and teachers in our life. But when I started searching who else influenced me in my life, many familiar faces reeled in my mind. Then, I was struck by one face which I thought was influenced is, my Mama, my mother’s younger brother. As we know, he was the only one of my relatives who stayed in a faraway city, Bangalore, which was a dream city for many of us. Still, we did not travel to Bangalore quite frequently, but Mama used to visit our place whenever he had his official work at our side. 

 

I really don’t remember what actually made me think about him fondly, but maybe he was visiting us from Bangalore. As years passed by, when I was in class 10, that time I had a chance to interact with him on many subjects (as he was well versed with political history, Indian history, labour issues etc.) Other than these discussions, he had a small camera with him, this made us look at him curiously. As it was his prized possession, he used to give us to hold it and peep through the viewer.  He used to explain to us how cameras work and also introduced us to negatives, negative developing and dark rooms. He used to take us to a dark room where he used to develop all the negatives. Not only that, he was good at repairing wall radio sets, tape recorders and later television sets. He also used to explain to us lucidly how Television works. He used to subscribe to the professional journal “Electronics For You” during the 80s and learnt many things on his own and made small projects. We were awestruck looking at him experimenting with electronic gadgets. This used to be quite exciting for us at the age of sixteen. 

 

He had one more passion of reading Kannada novels as I found this in my mother and her elder brother also. He was an avid reader and used to finish them within no time. I used to ask him about the books, the authors and the story plot. He used to recommend reading the novels of all authors that he read. During my visit to Bangalore, there was a small circulating library near his home where I had an opportunity to visit that library and lay my hands on all sorts of books and since then I have retained my reading habit which actually expanded my vision for any issues that I came across. 

 

When we all grew up older, we had a chance to understand him in more detail. He seems to be one among many who evoked an interest in me about stock markets long back. I remember him telling me how he purchased a few company shares and earned profit by selling them in the stock exchange. I remember taking threads from those early discussions and getting to know more about primary and secondary markets by self-studying. But when I had an opportunity working with Chartered Accountants in a college in Mumbai, it was natural for me to get involved with the stock market.  Amazingly, after his retirement, he again took up online trading and did extremely well in understanding new technology also earned some good profits. 

 

Mama was an avid cigarette smoker but when he was advised by a physician, surprisingly he abandoned smoking. Such was his determination. I questioned him how he could give up smoking so drastically and I was amazed by his reply and came to know how resolute he was in doing what he intends to do. 

 

After his retirement, one more passion that he followed was terrace gardening. I think he did it exceedingly well. I don’t know how he got hooked to terrace gardening. As he told me, he used to attend workshops organised by the agriculture department and he made a group with likeminded people and he could grow all types of vegetables and fruits on the terrace. He got an agriculture kit from Australia by Anil, his son. I think he became an expert on terrace gardening and copiously shared his success stories on Facebook. As I heard he had developed a great bond with all the similar interest groups and he used to travel around Bangalore to study and observe how terrace gardening is cultivated by all his group members. Thus was his level of passion for anything that he does.  

 

I can go on and on telling how he influenced me in my life. Two years back we lost him. Everyone has to leave this world, if he is remembered fondly for his work and leaving others influenced by his work, it’s life well lived. Isn't it? Thank you Mama.